Progress Update: SDSU Boy.

He admitted that he liked me. Not lust. Pure like — the affection you have for someone when you want to get to know them. I can say I’m utterly impressed hearing that from a party guy, especially since he’s in a fraternity. Frat guys don’t ever recognize me. I feel special, haha. The simp things he tells me make me smile like a fool. I hate it, but it feels nice to hear those things again after a year if recovery and six years of endless damage. I do admit that if this is all a game, it was a worthwhile game to be playing in. I wish he liked me enough to come and visit me first. Maybe he will if he starts to “like” me more. We’ll see.
He’s such a babe too. OH MY GOD. The way he says babe is soooo damn hot. It’s so casual and unffff. Haha. Hopefully this works out well. I don’t want to get too caught up with too many guys at once.

SDSU Boy Toy or Boyfriend?

Erik and I have been talking since the departure of the cruise. He’s something different. Really. I’ve never dealt with a guy as nice and sweet yet reckless and dangerous at the same time. The words that come out of his mouth make me melt, but the activities and actions that he partakes in are irresponsible and careless. I honestly don’t think it’s attractive, especially when he’s 20 already. Immature, I should say. Yet, I’m still magnetized by his charismatic, douchebag charm.
Lately, we’ve been sleeping on Skype together. Cutest shit ever. Did I mention how sweet he is? Yeah. HAHA. That’s not the point though. He’s also lusting so bad for me. I mean, what happens after he gets what he wants? I don’t want to be “dumped.” That would hurt a lot. But he’s been making me feel special. Should I even continue with my careless playful acts with him? I don’t like playing too many guys. Catching feelings for someone who ain’t serious is the worst feeling in the world. Sigh.

I think the worst part about finding out if someone likes you is what to do next.